A review of hypnobirth - does hypnobirth really work?!

Alfie is now 6 weeks old (how?!) and I've had plenty of time to reflect on his arrival and to have long (detailed and explicit) conversations with lots of friends keen to hear if "it's as bad as One Born Every Minute." My answer is always "No, because I had a hypnobirth." The conversation then inevitably evolves into me evangelising about the benefits of hypnobirth!

Anyhow, bearing in my mind my own terror-induced-nosiness when I was pregnant I decided to outline how I experienced the entire hypnobirthing process, I've already written about the hours of Alfie's birth here, (summary; calm, a bit sore, short and happy) but hypnobirthing is a much longer process that starts months before baby's birth. People always ask "What is hypnobirth?" followed  immediately afterwards by "Does hypnobirthing work?" In this post I'll answer the questions I've been asked most!

Q. What's the point of hypnobirth and why did you choose one?
A. Did you know that pain is not a natural part of birth?! It occurs as a result of fear and anxiety, where birth is concerned it has a psychological, not physiological origin and is a sign that the body is not being allowed to do what it is very cleverly built to do!

The aim of hypnobirth is firstly to replace negative thoughts regarding birth with positive ones and secondly to prepare Mom and her birth partner to play an active role in the birth of their baby. Hypnobirth achieves this in a number of ways, the main ones being knowledge and practice. I learnt so much about the physical process of birth and the medical options that would be available to me. This meant that as each phase of birth occurred I knew exactly what was happening as well as what the midwives might suggest AND (having practiced my techniques for MONTHS with Fred) I could take steps to help each phase along. A mother who has learnt to hypnobirth will be very 'in tune' with her body and know how to 'work with it'. Altogether this meant that I wasn't afraid, I was able to control the situation and I was supported.

The ultimate goal of hypnobirthing is a calm birth, which does not always mean a natural birth.

Q. So is hypnobirthing anything to do with hypnosis?
A. Not in the way we normally think about hypnosis, nobody ever said "look into my eyes" and I never did a chicken impression at the click of anyone's fingers! But then again that's not what hypnosis is actually about! Anything you do without thinking or deliberate effort (eg reading a sign, singing along to the radio, shaking someone's hand or, oh I don't know, assuming birth is a horrific, blood soaked catastrophe) is a form of hypnosis - a learnt, programmed response that has become instinct. Hypnobirthing helps a mother to 'relearn' her thought pattern regarding birth, one of the routes to this goal is to make the techniques so familiar that they become instinct and are easily applied when they're needed.

Q. What are these techniques you keep going on about?
A. As I said the ultimate goal is a calm birth so the techniques I was taught all aimed to increase calmness and build confidence in your ability to birth.

I did lots of meditations, lots and lots of meditations! But not just any meditations, these were specially written for hypnobirthing (there are some samples on YouTube) so as a result they were calming and empowering. As an extension I learnt to breath deeply and to repeat mantras.

Breathing is a big piece of the hypnobirthing pie. Your muscles need oxygen for anything activity and will cramp and cause pain if they're not getting enough, d'uh. There's a knack to birth breathing so you do need to practice before hand.

There was lots of visualisations, these involved vividly imagining all the negative things I thought might happen at birth and then reimagining these scenes in a way that felt joyful, which when you think about it is the only emotion appropriate to meeting your child!

There were also some exercises to do and some massages (yay) as well as pressure points to be applied during birth, I don't know how to sufficiently sing the praises of the pressure points, they worked wonders!

Q. What does your birth partner do?
Everything! Your birth partner has a vital role in keeping you focused on the techniques and satisfying your every whim! They also mediate between you and the medical staff so you don't get distracted or bombarded. I couldn't have managed without Fred, he improvised meditations during my labour that took me out of the room completely and he stayed confidently calm!

Q. Does hypnobirth work?
A. YES!!!! WONDERFULLY! I have no pain threshold and was terrified of birth (I considered never having children so I could avoid it. Really.) but through hypnobirthing I enjoyed an all natural, calm birth that I shared with my partner without fear or shame. And yes I meant to say enjoyed! The midwives in my hospital who were not hypnobirth practitioners said they considered "good breathing and a bath to be as effective as an epidural".

Q. Does birth still hurt?
A. Yes, but lots of things hurt - like leg day! It wasn't as painful as I expected it to be, at the very end I had a moment of panic when I didn't think I'd be able to finish but that's what the birth partner is for! Remember, this is a pain that you are prepared for and have dozens of ways to deal with, it is also a pain that you know will end in the most fantastic way possible, it is therefore a VERY manageable level of pain!

Q. And how's Alfie?
A. He is the most chilled out baby I've ever encountered, he rarely cries and so far (jinx) he's never screamed. Everyone who has met him from midwives, community care workers and friends to strangers in the street, have used the same word - contented. Because the first part of his life and his transition into the world was so relaxed he has never learnt to be anxious, making my life with a newborn very easy!

A Calm Birth

When I was pregnant part of my hypnobirth practice was reading stories of calm births from mothers who had positive experiences and as a first time mom I wanted as much information as possible! Hypnobirthing allowed me, someone with a pathalogical fear of birth to have a relaxed, all-natural, drug free birth, here's exactly what happened!

Wednesday 03:00 I woke with cramps and spent an hour in the shower (any excuse for a long shower though!) before sticking on my hypnobirthing CD and going back to bed to relax.

Wednesday 07:00 Our alarms go off and I am glad to tell Fred that birth is starting!!!! Hurray!! I can't believe I'm looking forward to this! Fred heads off to work and I spend most of the day watching Netflix and having baths, sometimes both at the same time! I listen to my hypnobirthing tracks and meditate throughout the day too, any time I have a 'scary thought' I check my board and repeat my favourite birth mantras. I think my surges ease up for a few hours during the morning and early afternoon, they build up again as the evening approached.

Wednesday 17:00 I demand Fred return from work as I'm starting to get a bit alarmed that something would happen and I'd be on my own, birth was the one time I had no problem demanding what I needed! For the next few hours the surges are stronger but were still nothing more than a mild period, they were completely manageable and in no way frightening. That said, I could easily have worked myself into a state by 'expecting the worst', using the hypnobirth techniques keeps me focussed on the moment which honestly was never that bad!

Wednesday 18:00 I chill out again with Fred home, he puts on George Ezra as a break from constant mantras! George Ezra was one of my anchors (something used in hypnobirth that is familiar and that keeps everyone calm and feeling positive), his music reminds me of our wedding and I'm feeling really happy and excited.

Wednesday 20:30 The surges have stepped up a gear now and are more intense but never overwhelming, the strongest ones make me stop, lean over and take a deep breath, the milder ones make me wonder if they are even surges! Several time I say "Should it not be worse than this?!" We eventually leave for the hospital when our contractions app switches from showing "consider leaving for the hospital" to showing "call an ambulance immediately", we like to live dangerously!

Wednesday 21:00 We arrive in Craigavon Midwifery Led Unit and the midwife examines me and says I am already 4cm. Hurray hypnobirthing had worked so far, I was almost half way there with no agony or fear! In fact I'm still really excited, and even stop to snap a take the piss photos on the way...how are East and West in the same place?! Our midwives are lovely women who are familiar with hypnobirthing and happy to let Fred and I lead Alfie's birth, this is really important to us and I never for a moment feel like we are out of control or being overlooked. After getting up to the ward I spend some time settling in and unpacking before I need to lie down and concentrate on breathing, this was when all of the hypnobirthing techniques became essential, Fred started up the affirmations and I repeat them quietly to myself, staying calm and 'in the moment'.

Wednesday 22:00 At about 10:00 the midwife runs me a bath which is so wonderful, I spend a good hour and half in there and even fall asleep between contractions! While the contractions are happening I fall into the habit of counting them, as each starts I slowly start to count, when I got up to 15 I begin counting back to 0. This is an improvised hypno-technique that came to me the moment, there will be a few of them! This one works as it allows me to visualise a 'peak' that I am to counting up to and keeps me looking forward to relaxing again as I count myself back down. Mind games!!!

Thursday 00:00 Our midwife suggests moving back out of the bath to prepare for Alfie's entrance, from now till his birth I use the birthing stool with Fred behind me for support, I found it very comfy! Things were getting stronger, I'm reluctant to use the word painful as that doesn't describe the feeling well - standing on a plug is bloody painful but birth is more like being immersed in a sensation, its not a massively pleasant one but neither is it one that makes you want to thrash around and scream swear words at the top of your lungs. Fred is now required to use ALL of the support tactics he'd been taught. He applies pressure to my lower back, I cannot explain how wonderful this feels! He alternates between using his palms and thumbs depending on what stage the surge is at. Poor Fred, for about four hours all I did was bark single words at him! "Thumbs......Palms.......Water......Gas & Air.......Story" His stories are AWESOME! He goes wildly 'off script' and ends up inventing the best stories about me, Alfie, our dogs and the lovely afternoons we are going to spend together in our own garden, he fills each story with the sound of bird songs, the smell of flowers, bees buzzing around us, the feel of the sun on our skin. They are amazing, so detailed and so distracting which I really need, I'm spending so much time imagining these glorious summer days that've no chance to dwell on the surges.

Over the next few hours the surges really take over and make my body do what needs done, which is good and bad, at least I can't procrastinate! All I really have to do was not get in the way!

I did have one moment of panic when I realised it was too late for epidurals or caesarians and that I had to get this baby all the way out all on my own! But Fred kept me concentrating on the garden and my breathing and that moment passed. The worst time was the last 20 minutes, Hypnobirthing doesn't advocate pushing (though does advocate calmly and with all the facts making whatever decision is best at the time) and I DID end up pushing for those last minutes as Alfie had gotten himself into a slightly uncomfortable position and wasn't all too happy.

Thursday 01:55 Alfie is born! Thanks to hypnobirth I have defied an entire life time's worth of birth related TERROR to have an easy, quick and happy labour. At no point did I experience earth shattering agony or paralysing fear, I didn't ever feel out of control and I was entirely confident throughout. Birth is hard and fairly sore (but then so is the gym?!) but I shudder to think what it would have been like without Fred and our hypno-techniques, the whole thing was so chilled that Alfie didn't even cry when he was born!

Montessori Puzzle Ball

When I was 39 weeks pregnant I found myself at a loose end, too pregnant to either sit still for long periods or get up and run about, faced with this dilemma I turned to sewing! I needed a simple project because I have no natural abilities in this area and it couldn't be anything fiddly because my poor carpel tunnel cursed fingers weren't up to much fiddling. Lo! I present to you...The Montessori Puzzle Ball!

In reality this took an awful lot longer than I thought it would but it's a very straight forward project and looks seriously impressive, though I would think that wouldn't I! 

There's a good tutorial here with straight forward instructions. They also explain the benefits of the puzzle ball; namely that the 12 'handles' make it very easy for a young child to grab, it is light but still has enough weight to require some concentration when playing with it, it rolls but only far enough to encourage an infant to shuffle after it and the odd shapes encourage hand and wrist flexibility. And its pretty. 

It will be quite a while before the little one will be strong enough to play with it but I really enjoyed making it and once again am nursing dreams of The Great British Sewing Bee!

 

Freezer Food

There's something about pregnancy that's got me prepping like doomsday is coming! I think it's the faint echo of the naysayers insisting that life is about to get 386.9 times harder as well as my own uncertainty! If there's the option to remove one decision, task or chore to let my future self get on with figuring out how to keep the tiny human alive then I will take it!

I'm not a huge fan of stews, one pots or casseroles which is what most freezer meal recipes consist of so I opted for sauces and marinaded meats as well as rubs and spice mixes.  I wanted everything to be extra nutritious as my worst-case-scenario head was whispering that my day's would be so hectic I might forget to eat until dinner. Yes it sounded unlikely even to me! But extra vegetables never hurt. We are totally prepared for baby!

With that in mind, I filled our freezer with delicious meals and sauces ready to be pulled out at a moments several hours notice!

1. Extra veg for pasta and chicken. I used this recipe and it tastes delicious.

2. A Standard Romesco sauce - 2 roasted peppers, 150g toasted nuts, garlic and a few tomatoes. The beauty of this is that it requires nothing more than a whizz in the NutriBullet. It's amazing with chicken, white fish or roasted vegetables.

3. Mojito Chicken - yes you read that right, make a mojito without the sugar and add a chicken fillet, voila.

4. Seville Chicken - this is inspired by the lazy citrus filled days of a summer in Andalucia. Juice and zest a lemon and an orange, add 1 teaspoon ground coriander, a little oil and some mint.

5. Spaghetti Bolognese - I swear by this recipe they call this the best ever Spag Bol and I've tried quite a few recipes as well as modifying this one, nothing beats it! Do what it says!

6. Apricot Chicken Curry - add steamed chicken fillets and tinned apricots to a simple curry base (onion, garlic, curry powder, natural yoghurt and lemon juice).

7. Black Salmon Rub - I love this! It tastes like you made an effort! 1 teaspoon each paprika, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, paprika and chilli powder. I made a pot of this, ready to be rubbed on some lovely salmon fillets and shoved under the grill.

8. Thai Steak - Strips of steak in lime juice, soya sauce, chilli and grated ginger. Not really a recipe but super tasty when stir-fried with broccoli, french beans and green pepper.

9. Hairy Bikers Curry - I love the Hairy Biker's Curry Book, its full of amazing recipes and tips! I made a few of their spice mixes which will require nothing more than yogurt, meat and a pot.

10. Chicken Kievs - for this instead of bread crumbs I used ground almond mixed with grated parmesan, garlic powder and dried oregano.

11. Breaded fish fillets - breadcrumbs, lemon zest and Italian Herb seasoning make a yummy crust, I also added some chilli flakes. Yum!


Freezer Tips.
For anything in a marinade I butterfly my chicken fillets before I freeze them so that they are quicker to defrost and cook. I also try not to overlap the meat for the same reason.

For the breaded dishes its important to freeze each piece of meat separately or you'll end up with a massive lump of meat which turns into a soggy mess when you defrost it. Just spread them out in a single layer for a few hours before bundling them all together in bags or boxes.

It's also worth having ginger root, chillies and an ice tray of lemon or lime juice in your freezer. It makes it so easy to make a stir-fry.

Lesser Spotted Pregnancy Side Effects

Lots of women think pregnancy is a wonderful time and gush over the special bond they feel with their baby and how they love that their body is becoming a cocoon for a new life. Hashtag vomit emoji. I'm not one of those women and I did not experience those feelings. Most of the time, pregnancy is uncomfortable and a bit weird. I also seemed to attract the strangest side effects, not a moment of morning sickness but plenty of other annoying ailments.

Without further ado, in order of appearance, I present to you "The Lesser Spotted Pregnancy Side Effects".

1. Dysgeusia. I really hated this one, it basically causes the most disgusting metallic taste to lurk about your mouth and spoil the taste of everything you eat and drink. It was like having morning mouth all day and no amount of brushing can get rid of it. Thankfully it only lasted a few weeks.

2. Attack of the teeth. My well behaved teeth decided to go rogue in the first trimester, I had three infected wisdom teeth which my dentist refused to treat on account of the pregnancy, instead I was gargling whiskey and praying they wouldn't form an abyss. Thankfully I discovered Anbesol Teething Gel, it is amazing and the only thing that numbed the pain even momentarily. Eventually the infections cleared up but not before many nights spent in a sobbing, rocking puddle of pain.

3. Heart palpitations. No you're not dying it's just your heart getting used to having 50% more blood to circulate. It sure does feel like you need to be panicking though! Don't! Elevate your feet (medical advice) and eat chocolate (life advice).

4. Sciatica. Pretty much present from the second trimester on. Nothing helps. Kim K crying face.

5. Groin pain. Or symphysis pubis dysfunction if you're feeling fancy. This is caused by the muscles that join your legs together loosening and relaxing to create the perfect baby exit. It's quite sore at the best of times and makes rolling over or getting out of the car ACTUAL AGONY. But it feels paralysing is you try to run, as I found out when I chased Holmes for about half a mile at 9 and a half months. Do not run!!! Warm baths and chocolate really this one.

6. Exhaustion. Constant exhaustion. I don't think I've had a full night's sleep since the second trimester. First I need to pee, then sleeping on my side numbs my shoulder and I need to roll over which necessitates reorganising the pregnancy pillow (which I have name The Enemy), then I'm thirsty, then I need a Gaviscon, then I need to pee again. And so we have a vicious cycle. If I do sleep, I snore, loudly. Poor husband isn't sleeping either, but then again, most of this is his fault with his romance and devilish good looks.

7. Carpal Tunnel. My hands have had the strength of a kitten for the last few weeks. And they hurt like hell! Something to do with extra fluid. Lucky me!

8. Cravings. I craved sponge and dust! At times I had to remove myself from the vicinity of the hoover because the smell of dust was so overwhelmingly delicious. As for sponge I limit myself to a few sniffs during the day and a quick chew before bed. I was often to be found in the cleaning aisle or personal hygiene aisle of our local shop just squeezing all the different types of sponge. Even thinking about it now I have a lump in my throat!

Baby's First Toys

During their first few weeks and months babies have vast amounts of growing to do - both physically and neurologically. Luckily, their brain is the fastest, most highly adaptable advance processing unit on the planet. So while baby looks like they are just gooing and gaaing and turning adults to simpering mush, they are in fact busy absorbing lessons on language, physics, geometry and psychology. (More information here). So the aim is not therefore to fill up a baby's head but to open it up, not through 'adult led' flash cards, Mozart or well reviewed apps  but rather by adapting the environment and materials so as to maximise baby's learning opportunities by letting him get on with his own natural development as efficiently as possible. 

Based on this philosophy Fred and I have decided to (loosely) follow a Montessori approach. There's a comprehensive, easy to read article here which covers the implications on the toy box, I'll summarise by saying it means will try to provide the child with open-ended toys made from natural materials that are developmentally appropriate and encourage creativity and independence. We will be avoiding plastic items with buttons and flashes and noises as these generally have one function and are over-stimulating for a baby who needs to concentrate on other things...like physics. 

Here's a quick break down of what we will be using and why.

Black and White - babies can't distinguish colours until they are a few weeks old (they start with red at 8 weeks and progress to the rest of the primary colours from 3 months). They need lots of bold patterns, preferably in black and white As this is what they can see most clearly. Developing baby's vision early will allow them to focus their eyes on you which will increase their communication abilities, it will also encourage concentration and develop their hand-eye coordination which will become essential once they start engaging with their surroundings in the coming months. The items we picked are all specially designed to make the most of baby's visual processing skills. More on that here.

1. Look! Look! Book. This is a monochrome board book that features a mirror 

2. Smart Noggin Noggin Rings. The reviews for this product have to be seen to be believed, I've also seen it recommended on so many baby blogs that we had to give it a try. It is colour appropriate and offers a range of sensory, social and motor skill development opportunities.

3. Taf Toys Clip On Pram Book. This book comes with clips so it can be stretched around the edge of a carry cot or folded up to form a book. I like that this is reversible so will entertain baby for a long time to come.

4. Manhattan Toy Wimmer Ferguson 3-in-1 Triangle. This is very similar to the previous item and also reversible It fits into the cot or play area. It's more tactile than the previous one and features different textures, flaps and shapes to engage a range of babies senses and processing skills as he grows. 

Technically you don't need anything to encourage this area, wearing stripes, printing geometric images, drawing out cartoons are all perfectly acceptable (and cheaper).

Clutching and rattling 

Babies are natural born grabbers! Having toys that easily fit their grasp allows them to build their strength and motor skills as well as practice their eye tracking. Objects with a variety of textures and low level sounds will also give babies a chance to develop their sense of sound and touch, while games with you will build their understanding of object permanence - an early form of critical thinking. More on that here. 

1. Clutching Toy Beetle. This toy technically goes against the Montessori ideals by representing a fantasy character but it's cute! It features various fabrics, cracking wings and an internal bell, it's very pliable and is small enough for baby's hand to fully close around.

2. Bell Rattle. This is more in line with Montessori thinking, the natural materials, primary colours and the visible bell as well as the contrasting sizes and shapes are all directly related to a baby's developmental phase. 

3. Bird Rattle. I love this rattle! Again it offers nice contrasts with fabrics and woods and the spinning ball will encourage baby to make smaller more deliberate movements.

4. Butterfly Mirror.  How cute is this wee mirror? Like the first item it has crinkly fabric and an internal bell. Mirrors are an endless source of fascination, basically from birth onwards!

Where possible I aim to shop ethically. Most of the products are made from sustainable resources and use toxin free manufacturing methods. If you're interested in doing likewise good places to start are Haba Toys, Plan Toys, Wonder World, Brio and Selecta Girali. For suppliers that are not multi-national, tax avoiding giants then check out The Toadstool, My Kid, Morleys and Babi Pur.

If you're thinking this doesn't look like a lot you'd be right! One aim of montessori is to minimise so I could blame that but in reality we've just started to gather baby's resources!