Lesser Spotted Pregnancy Side Effects

Lots of women think pregnancy is a wonderful time and gush over the special bond they feel with their baby and how they love that their body is becoming a cocoon for a new life. Hashtag vomit emoji. I'm not one of those women and I did not experience those feelings. Most of the time, pregnancy is uncomfortable and a bit weird. I also seemed to attract the strangest side effects, not a moment of morning sickness but plenty of other annoying ailments.

Without further ado, in order of appearance, I present to you "The Lesser Spotted Pregnancy Side Effects".

1. Dysgeusia. I really hated this one, it basically causes the most disgusting metallic taste to lurk about your mouth and spoil the taste of everything you eat and drink. It was like having morning mouth all day and no amount of brushing can get rid of it. Thankfully it only lasted a few weeks.

2. Attack of the teeth. My well behaved teeth decided to go rogue in the first trimester, I had three infected wisdom teeth which my dentist refused to treat on account of the pregnancy, instead I was gargling whiskey and praying they wouldn't form an abyss. Thankfully I discovered Anbesol Teething Gel, it is amazing and the only thing that numbed the pain even momentarily. Eventually the infections cleared up but not before many nights spent in a sobbing, rocking puddle of pain.

3. Heart palpitations. No you're not dying it's just your heart getting used to having 50% more blood to circulate. It sure does feel like you need to be panicking though! Don't! Elevate your feet (medical advice) and eat chocolate (life advice).

4. Sciatica. Pretty much present from the second trimester on. Nothing helps. Kim K crying face.

5. Groin pain. Or symphysis pubis dysfunction if you're feeling fancy. This is caused by the muscles that join your legs together loosening and relaxing to create the perfect baby exit. It's quite sore at the best of times and makes rolling over or getting out of the car ACTUAL AGONY. But it feels paralysing is you try to run, as I found out when I chased Holmes for about half a mile at 9 and a half months. Do not run!!! Warm baths and chocolate really this one.

6. Exhaustion. Constant exhaustion. I don't think I've had a full night's sleep since the second trimester. First I need to pee, then sleeping on my side numbs my shoulder and I need to roll over which necessitates reorganising the pregnancy pillow (which I have name The Enemy), then I'm thirsty, then I need a Gaviscon, then I need to pee again. And so we have a vicious cycle. If I do sleep, I snore, loudly. Poor husband isn't sleeping either, but then again, most of this is his fault with his romance and devilish good looks.

7. Carpal Tunnel. My hands have had the strength of a kitten for the last few weeks. And they hurt like hell! Something to do with extra fluid. Lucky me!

8. Cravings. I craved sponge and dust! At times I had to remove myself from the vicinity of the hoover because the smell of dust was so overwhelmingly delicious. As for sponge I limit myself to a few sniffs during the day and a quick chew before bed. I was often to be found in the cleaning aisle or personal hygiene aisle of our local shop just squeezing all the different types of sponge. Even thinking about it now I have a lump in my throat!

Baby's First Toys

During their first few weeks and months babies have vast amounts of growing to do - both physically and neurologically. Luckily, their brain is the fastest, most highly adaptable advance processing unit on the planet. So while baby looks like they are just gooing and gaaing and turning adults to simpering mush, they are in fact busy absorbing lessons on language, physics, geometry and psychology. (More information here). So the aim is not therefore to fill up a baby's head but to open it up, not through 'adult led' flash cards, Mozart or well reviewed apps  but rather by adapting the environment and materials so as to maximise baby's learning opportunities by letting him get on with his own natural development as efficiently as possible. 

Based on this philosophy Fred and I have decided to (loosely) follow a Montessori approach. There's a comprehensive, easy to read article here which covers the implications on the toy box, I'll summarise by saying it means will try to provide the child with open-ended toys made from natural materials that are developmentally appropriate and encourage creativity and independence. We will be avoiding plastic items with buttons and flashes and noises as these generally have one function and are over-stimulating for a baby who needs to concentrate on other things...like physics. 

Here's a quick break down of what we will be using and why.

Black and White - babies can't distinguish colours until they are a few weeks old (they start with red at 8 weeks and progress to the rest of the primary colours from 3 months). They need lots of bold patterns, preferably in black and white As this is what they can see most clearly. Developing baby's vision early will allow them to focus their eyes on you which will increase their communication abilities, it will also encourage concentration and develop their hand-eye coordination which will become essential once they start engaging with their surroundings in the coming months. The items we picked are all specially designed to make the most of baby's visual processing skills. More on that here.

1. Look! Look! Book. This is a monochrome board book that features a mirror 

2. Smart Noggin Noggin Rings. The reviews for this product have to be seen to be believed, I've also seen it recommended on so many baby blogs that we had to give it a try. It is colour appropriate and offers a range of sensory, social and motor skill development opportunities.

3. Taf Toys Clip On Pram Book. This book comes with clips so it can be stretched around the edge of a carry cot or folded up to form a book. I like that this is reversible so will entertain baby for a long time to come.

4. Manhattan Toy Wimmer Ferguson 3-in-1 Triangle. This is very similar to the previous item and also reversible It fits into the cot or play area. It's more tactile than the previous one and features different textures, flaps and shapes to engage a range of babies senses and processing skills as he grows. 

Technically you don't need anything to encourage this area, wearing stripes, printing geometric images, drawing out cartoons are all perfectly acceptable (and cheaper).

Clutching and rattling 

Babies are natural born grabbers! Having toys that easily fit their grasp allows them to build their strength and motor skills as well as practice their eye tracking. Objects with a variety of textures and low level sounds will also give babies a chance to develop their sense of sound and touch, while games with you will build their understanding of object permanence - an early form of critical thinking. More on that here. 

1. Clutching Toy Beetle. This toy technically goes against the Montessori ideals by representing a fantasy character but it's cute! It features various fabrics, cracking wings and an internal bell, it's very pliable and is small enough for baby's hand to fully close around.

2. Bell Rattle. This is more in line with Montessori thinking, the natural materials, primary colours and the visible bell as well as the contrasting sizes and shapes are all directly related to a baby's developmental phase. 

3. Bird Rattle. I love this rattle! Again it offers nice contrasts with fabrics and woods and the spinning ball will encourage baby to make smaller more deliberate movements.

4. Butterfly Mirror.  How cute is this wee mirror? Like the first item it has crinkly fabric and an internal bell. Mirrors are an endless source of fascination, basically from birth onwards!

Where possible I aim to shop ethically. Most of the products are made from sustainable resources and use toxin free manufacturing methods. If you're interested in doing likewise good places to start are Haba Toys, Plan Toys, Wonder World, Brio and Selecta Girali. For suppliers that are not multi-national, tax avoiding giants then check out The Toadstool, My Kid, Morleys and Babi Pur.

If you're thinking this doesn't look like a lot you'd be right! One aim of montessori is to minimise so I could blame that but in reality we've just started to gather baby's resources!

Things I knew about parenthood before I got pregnant

Baby hasn't even been born yet and already my lofty parenting ideals are coming crashing down! Here's a few things I knew for sure before I got pregnant that are slowly sinking into the mire of reality.

Baby will be bilingual. A moment of mirth! For this one we even went so far as to buy baby Spanish books (and drag our poor friend half-way round Valencia in search of said books). As time draws near however the reality of introducing a second language to a baby while introducing the entire world to the baby is becoming laughable, particularly as Fred does not speak a second language and I speak two types of Spanish; bad Spanish and drunk Spanish. I did dream of collecting wonderful resources, learning traditional nursery rhymes by rote and implementing daily routines en Espanol, I even have a stunning Pinterest Board to prove it but sadly I fear these notions will remain pixilated. Especially because Fred descends into giggles every time I sing Estrellita (Twinkle Twinkle) and get to the line that goes "en el cielo titilar". Real mature.

We will use cloth nappies. LOL! Joke! The changing unit is literally full of disposable nappies already! I feel really terrible about this (obviously) but having watched a few video tutorials and done a bit of research this method looks so hard! It seems to require the same amount of organisation it takes to invade a mid-sized country and FAR more shit shovelling. I'm trying to make myself feel better about this by insisting "I'll try it next time when I know what I'm doing", but ask me again when I'm managing a toddler and a new born! Also my shit shovelling partner is adamant that he will only engage with the disposable kind. Sigh.

We won't have that problem because [fill in vain, self-important reason here]. Oh wow, the view is wonderful from my high-horse. Judging other parents is my absolute favourite past time at the moment because I know I only have a few weeks left before I'm that parent buying their child sweets just to shut up them up, that parent who has just been slapped in the face by their child, that parent whose clothes aren't ironed and whose shoes don't match. I will most certainly have that problem.

We will stick to a routine. Everyone goes on and on about how much a baby needs a routine, I even drew up charts during my first trimester. Bless! Gradually the fact that I struggle to stick to a three step cleanse-tone-moisturise routine has dawned on me. So yeah, I'll focus on keeping the baby alive according to routine or not!

My child will not wear 'themed' outfits. I have sworn I won't be putting my baby in cartoon clothes, no Frozen shirts, no Sponge Bob pants, and nothing gender defining. Ahem, have you ever tried to buy baby clothes?! Good grief, these are the most binary, mainstream fashion statements available. I'll make an effort but in reality baby will be wearing whatever has the least trace of body fluid on it.

I won't wear 'tents' just because I'm pregnant. Me in Mothercare: "Where is the jersey cotton? SHOW ME THE JERSEY COTTON. I'm looking for something that would fit a...camel? A small boat? A band of thieves?" Yep the tents went on a few days ago, as did the FitFlops. I weep.

Cravings are for people with bad diets, I'll eat really well. "Pardon? I can't hear your notions through all the sponge your chewing, were you saying you had Nutella and cheese for breakfast?"

Raspberry Tea

EDIT: Labour has passed and the tea was tested to it's limits! I can't say if it helped or not as I have no tea-free labour to compare it to, however I CAN say that I had a short, straight forward, natural labour. Was that down to the tea? Probably not but it definitely wouldn't have hurt!  

When you're pregnant you attract all sort of things like acne, a burning chest dragon, fluid (how can my feet/hands/bladder hold this much) but most unfortunate of - all unsolicited advice. Some of it is hilarious; "vaccines cause Autism." Some of it is maddening "you really HAVE to breast feed for at least a year." Only a tiny amount of it is actually useful with an even smaller amount being well intentioned. When my neighbour suggested I start drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea in the last few weeks of pregnancy I'd reached advice fatigue and ignored her! I'd never heard of the benefits of Raspberry Leaf Tea (not to be confused with Raspberry Tea) but she insisted that it made delivering her middle child much easier than of either her first or last child. Finally having eventually researched it I'm totally won over by it's many claimed advantages and raging I didn't start it sooner. In fact, it sounds so good that I'm sure some it is exaggeration...but I am not adverse to a bit of a placebo!

Most evidence is anecdotal and there's virtually no official data, but I found a few bits of evidence.

• According to studies drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea can lead to shorter active labour because it strengthens and tones the muscles of your uterus making you a better pusher! 
• Another study found that among drinkers there was fewer cases of assisted delivery. 
• Yet another study found that drinking it during labour (who has time for that?!) made your uterus contract quicker, limited bleeding and quickened the letting down of breast milk (I'm not sure what letting down means, sorry). 
• Perhaps most convincingly two other mothers I've spoken to have all confirmed its stretchy womb wonders. 

Before you go thinking that Raspberry Leaf Tea is a miracle drug that will will turn your uterus into a steam train WAIT...

• Another 'study' found it to have absolutely no effect. 

Hurray for evidence based contradictory medicine! I'm going to be honest and say that the words "shorter labour" and "less bleeding" are enough to over ride that pessimistic, party pooping last study! Even if it does nothing there's no harm in a cup of tea, especially when it has so many essential maternity nutrients in it for Mom and Baby (calcium, magnesium and iron).

Tip: this tea is reported to be disgusting, I wouldn't know though because I bought Heath and Heather Raspberry Leaf Tea which is mixed with hibiscus and tastes divine!

Further Tip: there's a whole load of advice about when NOT to drink this tea (before 32 weeks, if you're spotting, if you're having a caesarian etc) so probably best to do your own reading and make up your mind!

Hello Summer!

Irish people LOVE a moan, especially about the weather but the start of Summer this year may only be described as a glorious, golden, glowing explosion. This means that we in the Happy House have been getting stuck into the garden and readying it for sale! Holmes and Claude are behaving so well in the Humans' Garden!

I say getting stuck in, there has been lots of cuddles, cheap novels and chilled rose petal tea but oh well! At 8 months pregnant that is absolutely my prerogative!

Claude (B) and Holmes (T) are rarely let into this part of the garden, mostly because it usually ends up like a scene from Crouching Doodle Hidden Shit which does not go down well at a garden party and is a nightmare to remove from picnic blankets but we've been making exceptions for them recently.

"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow" and normally planting out our veg patch is one of my happiest Summer moments for precisely this reason however this year it's been a rather sobering experience as we don't have very many tomorrows in our lovely first home! We know that we probably won't be here to harvest anything we plant and it hit me harder than I thought it would. In previous years we've had potatoes, broccoli, courgettes, sweet corn, every root you can bury and most readily available leaves but this year we've decided to cut back. We planted just enough rows of salad, carrots and peas to 'bluff' a veg patch and impress upon any potential buyers that the house comes with a low maintenance mini allotment and suddenly my gorgeous garden filled with plants I've practically named and birds I actually have named (Buenos dias Ramirez el Chaffinch y Rodrigo el Robin) has been reduced to a commodity. Maybe its just the hormones but I feel like I'm pimping it out and now whenever I look at those underwhelming rows of salad I can't help but feel a little sad!

But it's hard to be sad for too long with these adorable brutes around!

Nursery Tour

Is this nesting? In my 28 years I have never displayed even the smallest inclination toward either the domestic or the highly organised yet at 8 months pregnant these have both become my highest priority! Maybe it is nesting though I am more inclined to think it has a logical root. I am acutely aware that I will soon be spending a lot of time at home without a clue of what I'm doing, with the grateful receipt of this burden I decided to eliminate another; the need to look for/step over/clean around the majority of the items I use on a daily basis! Removing liquid faeces from a tiny wiggling bum has got to be easier when you can put your hand straight on the necessary weapons of ablution? Baby blues must be at least eased by a clear, calm environment? Life really does actually look like it does on Pinterest? No? None of these assumptions are true? I don't know how parenthood works? Shit. Anyway, on with the 'tour' (*shudder I'm such a Mommy Blogger cliche sorry!*)

First up, the changing unit! This was the first area that Fred and I set up, we wanted everything within easy reach but we didn't want anything to be cluttered. We have; nappies, spare cotton balls, nappy bags, wipes, talcum powder, more cotton wool in a grab jar, his grooming products in a basket and spare muslins for slipping under his booty to avoid skid marks on the mat. This drawer works from left to right in order of the urgency I expect to feel in trying to procure the item. This means that my more dexterous right hand can keep Prawn from shimmying into his own poo while my left can easily grab the most urgently required item from the left side of the drawer. Simples!

In the second drawer we put his baby grows and sleep suits. Are these under clothes? I imagine you put t-shirts and adorable itty bitty trousers on over them but the truth is I'm not sure you do! Anyway we organised these right to left with his First Size on the far right and his 0-3 Month moving left before finishing with two grab jars, one bibs, the other socks etc. The reasoning behind this (yes - completely over thinking) was that holding Prawn was now the less pressing issue since poo as a risk factor had been eliminated thus it could be managed by left hand leaving right hand to grab what's needed. It's just simple ergonomics (and the first signs of mental derailment).

In the last drawer is spare wipes and nappies etc. I bought 187 Size 1 nappies "just in case". Just in case he's an elephant? You may suspect that I have a slight nervous preoccupation with the baby's bowel movements, you would be correct. I've never actually changed a nappy but I have watched enough YouTube videos to know how horrific the experience can be. In my defence they say babies use 10-12 a day in the first while. 187 nappies / 12 nappies a day = 15.5 days worth of nappies. Not excessive. What is excessive is how many times I've said nappies in this post. 

I know you're just dying to know what's in his grooming basket! Here it is! For bath time I thought it would be handy to have everything in a lift out container to take to the bathroom with us but also to leave in his changing unit for top and tailing/emergency spills. In here we have a few nappies and bags, assorted sponges, rash cream, body wash, baby oil, hand sanitiser (because I had some spare and needed to put it somewhere) cotton balls, hair brushes, nail clippers and wash clothes. 

On to his wardrobe which (shockingly) has his clothes, towels and a few items he's not ready to use yet. His clothes are grouped according to size, I'm looking for wardrobe dividers but so far no joy! Beside his wardrobe is his first bed! We bought a Chicco Next2Me so naturally we will move this into his own room when he arrives. Eventually his crib will be here but hopefully we will have moved house long before we have to build the crib! In his Chicco is his swaddling blanket and his Bump to Birthday record which I HIGHLY recommend as a keepsake.

Lastly his pram and nappy bag. We got a Bugaboo Chameleon 3 because so many people recommended them. Bugaboo never reduce the price of their products but we just happened to be passing a Mamas and Papas at opening time on the very day that this one was marked as Shop Soiled and reduced by £300! Win! There was some stiff competition from other Mommies and a slight amount of stalking around the store from a particularly determined pair but we made it to the till unscathed! His nappy bag is just from Mothercare - we went for the cheapest one we could find! Why are they so expensive? £70+ for a hideous satchel??? Get a grip! This one is only marginally less hideous but significantly less expensive at £35. 

And that's all! I expect this level of military organisation will last approximately 18 seconds once he's born!