A Montessori Playtime!

Oh what a joy these last few weeks have been! 

At 13 weeks it was like a little light switched on inside Alfie, all of a sudden he was interested in everything! He was reaching out to grab objects, bringing things to his mouth and from 14 weeks passing things between his hands (I've been told he's young to be doing this but I'm in no way surprised, he's very advanced! #smug)

These are the toys that Alfie has been showing most interest in. We offered him each toy, most items we held out he didn't react to at all, these were the ones that made his wee eyes open wide and his little fingers stretch out! The books at the back were a surprise hit, I'd assumed that he was too young to enjoy such stagnant activities but he loves lying down and having a chat about each picture. The chicken rattle on the left took a few offerings before he went for it while the sock puppets, Montessori Ball and wooden ring were instant hits!

Every afternoon while he takes his long nap I prep out his little play area - this is definitely an indulgence that is uniquely afforded to an only child, I can't imagine being able to do this if there were other children wrecking about! There are so many gorgeous montessori rooms and nurseries on Pinterest but I do not live a life worthy of Pinterest and must make Montessori fit with the rest of our home! A Montessori environment is referred to as a "Prepared Environment", one that is ready for a child and accessible to them. The objects within it should be suited to a child's physical abilities and their developmental stage. When it comes to a child's relationship to his surrounding Maria Montessori has this to say;

"How does the child assimilate his environment? He does it solely in virtue of one of those characteristics that we now know him to have. This is an intense and specialized sensitiveness in consequence of which the things about him awaken so much interest and so much enthusiasm that they become incorporated in his very existence. The child absorbs these impressions not wit his mind but with his life itself."

The adult a child becomes will be a reflection of the environment in which they were raised.

A child's environment need not be cluttered and filled with lots of distractions, in fact these blankets are probably overly stimulating for Alfie, but its really cold here and these are the warmest that we have!! The Montessori nursery should be neat, beautiful and purposeful. Everything within it should have a place and a reason for being there to encourage a child to calmly explore, appreciate and use each item. I've been in childcare environments where the area is so chaotic and so rammed full of toys that children are literally running from one thing to the next and leaving a trail of dropped toys in their wake. Their energy (never mind attention) is strewn about the room, making it impossible to concentrate or build deep relationships. There is a wonderful quote from Maria Montessori herself that explains why special care should be taken with the environment in which a child grows.

"The child has a different relation to his environment from ours...the child absorbs it. The things he sees are not just remembered; they form part of his soul. He incarnates in himself all in the world about him that his eyes see and his ears hear."

So a child who grows in a chaotic environment will develop a chaotic internal world, a child who grows in calmness and purposeful play will develop a more peaceful mentality. Below is a picture of Alfie at only 14 weeks, in it he is very carefully examining on of his mobiles which he grabbed and turned over before he brought to his face, something I thought would have been impossible for such a tiny mind and uncoordinated body to achieve! Well done Alfie!

Back Gardens on Cnoc na Gaire

When it comes to home, a good garden is very important to Fred and I, in fact to me it was more important than the interiors. Perhaps I spent most of my childhood several feet up a tree in a rather marvellous den of my own making! I can tell you in detail the location of every knot and scar on our tallest conifer, the sound it made in the winds, the way it smelt after the rain, the sticky feeling of sap after a heatwave, but I would struggle to recall the pattern of the living room wallpaper! At the moment we have a very small garden but it really is an extension of our home, which is rare in Ireland where its either too wet, windy or dark to use a garden for most of the year!

We kept this in mind when we were designing the gardens on Cnoc na Gaire, we wanted somewhere that our whole family could use, where we could grow plants, food and children, a place to socialise, play, learn and relax in on a daily basis and not just when the sun deigned to shine. We wanted a loose formality, a landscaping with soft edges, a manicured garden into which the surrounding hills had tumbled. We don't plan on having cows in the garden (!) but we didn't want them to look too out of place when they stuck their head over the fence.

The front garden was such a big space that it could comfortably accommodate this (rambling, nonsensical) brief. The back garden on the other hand - well that was a bit of a tougher call! Nevertheless I think it looks amazing! The round patios, potager garden, curving lattice fencing  and kidney lawn keep it reasonably informal while still providing designated areas for all the things we wanted, the chickens in the corner will only add to its charm!

The raw untouched back yard! At this stage it was a grass and gravel! It was hard to imagine what the space was capable of becoming and a part of me loved how rugged it was.

That feeling didn't last long once the diggers moved in! Up came the grass and down went the patio slabs! 

Things really slowed down after the initial spurt, the finer details took a lot longer, the pergola has gone up over the larger patio, eventually this will be covered in gorgeous, perfumed wisteria. I can't wait! 

Aaaaaaaand it's almost finished! The trampoline has been sunk and the lawn has been seeded, the plants are laid out ready for their forever homes and I can't wait to move in!!!!!!! 

This my favourite area! On the left is looking down towards the front garden, through the 'secret' path that runs behind the potager garden and on the right is the view looking up this pathway into the back garden! Eeeek! I'm so looking forward to chasing Alfie and the boys along this path!

Play time!

All throughout my pregnancy Alfie was the most chilled out little baby, he never went mad with the kicking, I had no terrible hardships during his gestation (what a word!) and his birth was pretty easy and happy. He's been the exact same now that he's out, a happy, relaxed little baby! 

Fred and I were keen on starting Montessori from birth and this is our first stab at it! He's 14 weeks old now and just starting to engage with people and objects around him. In the last few days we've started to introduce a small selection of toys, prior to this his happiest moments were when he was looking at someones face and singing songs with them or studying his black and white banner.

These photos were taken when he was only two and a half weeks old. At this stage a baby can't see further than 8-12 inches. Their vision is so poor that they struggle to distinguish colours and find it easiest to focus on high contrast images in black and white...As usual, I didn't believe the experts and their alleged facts until I saw it in action for myself!

Alfie's reaction to the black and white hanging was instant! From the first second that we put in front of him he couldn't tear his eyes away! It was the first time that he had really focused on anything and taken some time to study something.

We could see his eyes travelling all over the whole chart until he found a square that caught his attention then he would begin his search again.

I was so surprised by his reaction. His little face is pure concentration! He stayed like this for several minutes, letting his attention flow to different areas of the chart.

As he got older we folded the chart into a pyramid and let him stare at it while he did his tummy time which he also really enjoyed but his favourite way to play with it is still while it's hanging from his baby gym.

PS. I love the IKEA Leka baby gym, because it's so easy to adapt it and change out the mobiles, added bonus it's a bargain at £20. It's fairly plain and not 100 miles from the Montessori/Waldorf ideal that we would want for Alfie. So far we haven't messed with it too much but I LOVE this tutorial to modify it from Put Up Your Dukes. When I get a bit of spare time (lol) I'm going to try and do something similar.

Gardens on Cnoc na Gaire

Over 8 weeks ago men with shovels, steel capped boots, a lifetime supply of lucozade and roaring yellow diggers arrived like an invading army on to Cnoc na Gaire. Since then our Hill of Laughter has been a slightly less tranquil and significantly louder place. There's been a whole lot of mud, sweat and rain but the once grassy knoll is emerging from under those steel clad feet as an elegant and refined garden.

This was our garden waaaaay back in July just before Alfie was born, which feels like a whole life time ago! A different person stood on these front steps and looked out at a different landscape, with only the faintest inclination of how drastically the world was about to shift!

The initial growth spurt was the most dramatic as it happened so quickly! I remember a brief moment of panic when I first saw how we had brutalised it, I genuinely felt sad for everything we'd uprooted. A small mercy that the Summer was over we weren't making any bees homeless. As first priority the top layer of soil was pulled away and turned to kill weeds and destroy their roots. After that the levels were set, because of the slope and poor drainage the front garden was divided into three levels. The first will be a gravel turning circle and will sit right under that digger, down three steps will be a rectangular formal lawn and down a further flight of steps, nestled at the foot of the hill will be a round lawn surrounded by a wild flower meadow.

Things had started to take shape by September, you can see where the lawns will be laid, as well as where the steps will eventually go. One of the things I love about Cnoc na Gaire is the light. From every angle it is bathed in warm, living light. This photo makes me so excited to grow our lives there.

Then one day, there was a roundabout! The turning circle appeared over night! On the right you can just about make out the last few feet of what will one day be a secret pathway and down on both lawns there are tiny, grassy spikes nuzzling their way out of the soil! Eeeeek! I can't wait! 

On Tuesday for the very first time we will be donning work boots and rubber gloves ourselves and finally getting our own hands in the soil! Our shiny new shovels are sitting in the garage just waiting to be used! I am speechless with joy!

Birthday Bucket List: Give Up Facebook

Every year on my birthday I write down 12 things that I want to do before the next one rolls round, some things are big, some things are little but ALL the things are just for me! You can read the list here.

In October I have decided to give up Facebook for a month. It will be the longest stretch I've gone without it in eight years. It's going to be tricky, embarrassingly hard actually but hopefully refreshing! Being on maternity leave will make it extra sticky as there's several millenia of nap time to fill every day and often as Alfie snuffles in his sleep my fingers automatically take me to this Time Thief. It wouldn't be so bad if Facebook wasn't so bloody crap! These days its nothing but click bait, sponsored posts and news stories. And to that I say BORING! And SNORE! And JOG ON MATE!

I'll still be polluting the waters of social media over on Instagram (grainneo) come and say hi!

Book of the Month

The Disclaimer, Renee Knight
As part of my Birthday Bucket List I'm reading at least one book a month. In September I read a few books, the best was The Disclaimer by Renee Knight.

In this thriller the main character, Catherine, discovers a novel in which she herself stars and which exposes her darkest secret.

This is a good book but not a great one, it's perfect for when you want a fast read that will keep you interested, occasionally send your eyebrows shooting into your hairline and rarely ask you to think.

Knight's style of writing keeps things tense, which is fortunate because at times her plot feels a little convenient. Her characters are likeable but occasionally I found myself saying "Really? They did that?" as they have a tendency towards the dramatic.

It's enjoyable and worth a look if you like disposable thrillers.

Birthday Bucket List

Every year Fred and I write a list of 12 new things we'd like to do before our next birthday. I love having something to look forward to and it's a brilliant motivator!

1. Complete Round 1 and Round 2 of Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide - equal parts excitement and dread on this one!

2. Go somewhere new - This is a bit of a cheat because we do a trip every year, in December we're off to Zurich.

3. Sewing - My aim is to complete 6 sewing projects this year.

4. Be a book worm - Reading is one of my favourite things but I still struggle to make time for it, this year I will read at least one book a month.

5. Watch a TV series in Spanish - I need to practice!!!!

6. Great Family Bake Off - Make one seasonal bake every season, so far I'm thinking; Apple Pie in Autumn, Cranberry Tarts in Winter, Easter Cake in Spring and Summer Fruit Drizzle Cake in Summer

7. Give up Facebook for a month - waaaaah this is going to hurt, who knows what I'll do with all the free time I'll have! Learn a language? Get a part time job? Achieve enlightenment?

8. Do a photography course - Fred bought me a great camera for Christmas last year which currently feels like it's under achieving!

9. Complete a photo album - I miss real life photo albums! Wouldn't it be nice to open an actual book of memories? Just a page or two with highlights from each month would make such a lovely keepsake.

10. Spending detox - for one month spend on NOTHING but food, bills, petrol - no dinners out or coffee treats or nice clothes no one needs!

11. Write at least once a week for 2 months - simples!

12. Move house - the one I'm most excited for!

Life with a newborn

Before Alfie's arrival I had the idea that life would be a never ending cycle of making bottles, cleaning bums, doing laundry, wiping away tears (both babies and my own) all while stepping over piles of festering nappies and vomit soaked clothes, mostly I imagined frantic stress! However since he's arrived I have not found it to be the case and that survival with a newborn is reasonably easy! That being said it is true that I took organisation to a threatening level pre-baby. Here's how I make life with a newborn work for me.

1. Stocking up. On everything! I bought industrial quantities of nappies and wipes, meters of muslin cloths (and yet still could use more), enough onesies to clothe an orphanage, spare boxes of washing powder and extra toilet roll. In essence - anything that I thought would cause irritation if I were to run out! I also suggest bulk buying biscuits because visitors (there will be lots, some of which you won't know) like a biscuit with their tea.

Also (and this is TMI; faint of heart/males stop reading now) it will take a while for the lady area to recover. BUY CHEAP PANTS! And hoard those hideous maternity pads! This is no time for thongs, no one cares what Victoria's secret is, you need them black and baggy! Keep everything together in the bathroom, just trust me!

2. Prepping food. Even with an 'easy' baby I'm still tired and busy and have been so glad to have healthy meals sitting in the freezer. Yes a take away is easy but I feel better knowing that even without donning a single thread of lycra or raising my heart rate above tortoise speed I'm doing SOMETHING for my body. My recipes are here, and I've made batch cooking/marinading part of my life now!

3. Making use of visitors. There is a price if you want to hold my baby! Usually that price is only making your own tea but for some (Grannies, Aunts, Good Friends) that price was loading the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, holding the baby while I did something or (for one poor aunt) changing lightbulbs. Obviously no well meaning acquaintances were exploited but I answered every empty "Do you need a hand?" with an enthusiastic "Yes please!"

4. Matching Pyjamas and Dry Shampoo. Bear with me, there will be days when you don't get dressed or wash your hair, if you are in possession of multiple pairs of jammies, a nice dressing grown and dry shampoo this becomes slightly less depressing and you may lounge with sartorial confidence. Did wonders for my mental wellbeing!

5. Baskets. These are so handy, we have a changing basket down stairs that has nappies, wipes, bags, creams etc. I love this and so do our babysitters, saves a trek up the stairs with a dirty baby! I also keep a basket of clean sheets and muslins under his crib for any projectiles that baby might launch during the night.  

6. Organise, organise, organise. Seriously. Organise your shit! Go to Pinterest and search for "Changing Station Organisation", you'll be grateful! Ours hasn't changed in six weeks and it's been a godsend, so quick to grab everything that's needed! Since baby clothes are so tiny and baby will grow through the sizes in about 10 minutes its really handy to store them by size, especially once gifts start arriving! I had wardrobe dividers for hanging items and folded onesies into baskets for his drawers. 

A review of hypnobirth - does hypnobirth really work?!

Alfie is now 6 weeks old (how?!) and I've had plenty of time to reflect on his arrival and to have long (detailed and explicit) conversations with lots of friends keen to hear if "it's as bad as One Born Every Minute." My answer is always "No, because I had a hypnobirth." The conversation then inevitably evolves into me evangelising about the benefits of hypnobirth!

Anyhow, bearing in my mind my own terror-induced-nosiness when I was pregnant I decided to outline how I experienced the entire hypnobirthing process, I've already written about the hours of Alfie's birth here, (summary; calm, a bit sore, short and happy) but hypnobirthing is a much longer process that starts months before baby's birth. People always ask "What is hypnobirth?" followed  immediately afterwards by "Does hypnobirthing work?" In this post I'll answer the questions I've been asked most!

Q. What's the point of hypnobirth and why did you choose one?
A. Did you know that pain is not a natural part of birth?! It occurs as a result of fear and anxiety, where birth is concerned it has a psychological, not physiological origin and is a sign that the body is not being allowed to do what it is very cleverly built to do!

The aim of hypnobirth is firstly to replace negative thoughts regarding birth with positive ones and secondly to prepare Mom and her birth partner to play an active role in the birth of their baby. Hypnobirth achieves this in a number of ways, the main ones being knowledge and practice. I learnt so much about the physical process of birth and the medical options that would be available to me. This meant that as each phase of birth occurred I knew exactly what was happening as well as what the midwives might suggest AND (having practiced my techniques for MONTHS with Fred) I could take steps to help each phase along. A mother who has learnt to hypnobirth will be very 'in tune' with her body and know how to 'work with it'. Altogether this meant that I wasn't afraid, I was able to control the situation and I was supported.

The ultimate goal of hypnobirthing is a calm birth, which does not always mean a natural birth.

Q. So is hypnobirthing anything to do with hypnosis?
A. Not in the way we normally think about hypnosis, nobody ever said "look into my eyes" and I never did a chicken impression at the click of anyone's fingers! But then again that's not what hypnosis is actually about! Anything you do without thinking or deliberate effort (eg reading a sign, singing along to the radio, shaking someone's hand or, oh I don't know, assuming birth is a horrific, blood soaked catastrophe) is a form of hypnosis - a learnt, programmed response that has become instinct. Hypnobirthing helps a mother to 'relearn' her thought pattern regarding birth, one of the routes to this goal is to make the techniques so familiar that they become instinct and are easily applied when they're needed.

Q. What are these techniques you keep going on about?
A. As I said the ultimate goal is a calm birth so the techniques I was taught all aimed to increase calmness and build confidence in your ability to birth.

I did lots of meditations, lots and lots of meditations! But not just any meditations, these were specially written for hypnobirthing (there are some samples on YouTube) so as a result they were calming and empowering. As an extension I learnt to breath deeply and to repeat mantras.

Breathing is a big piece of the hypnobirthing pie. Your muscles need oxygen for anything activity and will cramp and cause pain if they're not getting enough, d'uh. There's a knack to birth breathing so you do need to practice before hand.

There was lots of visualisations, these involved vividly imagining all the negative things I thought might happen at birth and then reimagining these scenes in a way that felt joyful, which when you think about it is the only emotion appropriate to meeting your child!

There were also some exercises to do and some massages (yay) as well as pressure points to be applied during birth, I don't know how to sufficiently sing the praises of the pressure points, they worked wonders!

Q. What does your birth partner do?
Everything! Your birth partner has a vital role in keeping you focused on the techniques and satisfying your every whim! They also mediate between you and the medical staff so you don't get distracted or bombarded. I couldn't have managed without Fred, he improvised meditations during my labour that took me out of the room completely and he stayed confidently calm!

Q. Does hypnobirth work?
A. YES!!!! WONDERFULLY! I have no pain threshold and was terrified of birth (I considered never having children so I could avoid it. Really.) but through hypnobirthing I enjoyed an all natural, calm birth that I shared with my partner without fear or shame. And yes I meant to say enjoyed! The midwives in my hospital who were not hypnobirth practitioners said they considered "good breathing and a bath to be as effective as an epidural".

Q. Does birth still hurt?
A. Yes, but lots of things hurt - like leg day! It wasn't as painful as I expected it to be, at the very end I had a moment of panic when I didn't think I'd be able to finish but that's what the birth partner is for! Remember, this is a pain that you are prepared for and have dozens of ways to deal with, it is also a pain that you know will end in the most fantastic way possible, it is therefore a VERY manageable level of pain!

Q. And how's Alfie?
A. He is the most chilled out baby I've ever encountered, he rarely cries and so far (jinx) he's never screamed. Everyone who has met him from midwives, community care workers and friends to strangers in the street, have used the same word - contented. Because the first part of his life and his transition into the world was so relaxed he has never learnt to be anxious, making my life with a newborn very easy!

A Calm Birth

When I was pregnant part of my hypnobirth practice was reading stories of calm births from mothers who had positive experiences and as a first time mom I wanted as much information as possible! Hypnobirthing allowed me, someone with a pathalogical fear of birth to have a relaxed, all-natural, drug free birth, here's exactly what happened!

Wednesday 03:00 I woke with cramps and spent an hour in the shower (any excuse for a long shower though!) before sticking on my hypnobirthing CD and going back to bed to relax.

Wednesday 07:00 Our alarms go off and I am glad to tell Fred that birth is starting!!!! Hurray!! I can't believe I'm looking forward to this! Fred heads off to work and I spend most of the day watching Netflix and having baths, sometimes both at the same time! I listen to my hypnobirthing tracks and meditate throughout the day too, any time I have a 'scary thought' I check my board and repeat my favourite birth mantras. I think my surges ease up for a few hours during the morning and early afternoon, they build up again as the evening approached.

Wednesday 17:00 I demand Fred return from work as I'm starting to get a bit alarmed that something would happen and I'd be on my own, birth was the one time I had no problem demanding what I needed! For the next few hours the surges are stronger but were still nothing more than a mild period, they were completely manageable and in no way frightening. That said, I could easily have worked myself into a state by 'expecting the worst', using the hypnobirth techniques keeps me focussed on the moment which honestly was never that bad!

Wednesday 18:00 I chill out again with Fred home, he puts on George Ezra as a break from constant mantras! George Ezra was one of my anchors (something used in hypnobirth that is familiar and that keeps everyone calm and feeling positive), his music reminds me of our wedding and I'm feeling really happy and excited.

Wednesday 20:30 The surges have stepped up a gear now and are more intense but never overwhelming, the strongest ones make me stop, lean over and take a deep breath, the milder ones make me wonder if they are even surges! Several time I say "Should it not be worse than this?!" We eventually leave for the hospital when our contractions app switches from showing "consider leaving for the hospital" to showing "call an ambulance immediately", we like to live dangerously!

Wednesday 21:00 We arrive in Craigavon Midwifery Led Unit and the midwife examines me and says I am already 4cm. Hurray hypnobirthing had worked so far, I was almost half way there with no agony or fear! In fact I'm still really excited, and even stop to snap a take the piss photos on the way...how are East and West in the same place?! Our midwives are lovely women who are familiar with hypnobirthing and happy to let Fred and I lead Alfie's birth, this is really important to us and I never for a moment feel like we are out of control or being overlooked. After getting up to the ward I spend some time settling in and unpacking before I need to lie down and concentrate on breathing, this was when all of the hypnobirthing techniques became essential, Fred started up the affirmations and I repeat them quietly to myself, staying calm and 'in the moment'.

Wednesday 22:00 At about 10:00 the midwife runs me a bath which is so wonderful, I spend a good hour and half in there and even fall asleep between contractions! While the contractions are happening I fall into the habit of counting them, as each starts I slowly start to count, when I got up to 15 I begin counting back to 0. This is an improvised hypno-technique that came to me the moment, there will be a few of them! This one works as it allows me to visualise a 'peak' that I am to counting up to and keeps me looking forward to relaxing again as I count myself back down. Mind games!!!

Thursday 00:00 Our midwife suggests moving back out of the bath to prepare for Alfie's entrance, from now till his birth I use the birthing stool with Fred behind me for support, I found it very comfy! Things were getting stronger, I'm reluctant to use the word painful as that doesn't describe the feeling well - standing on a plug is bloody painful but birth is more like being immersed in a sensation, its not a massively pleasant one but neither is it one that makes you want to thrash around and scream swear words at the top of your lungs. Fred is now required to use ALL of the support tactics he'd been taught. He applies pressure to my lower back, I cannot explain how wonderful this feels! He alternates between using his palms and thumbs depending on what stage the surge is at. Poor Fred, for about four hours all I did was bark single words at him! "Thumbs......Palms.......Water......Gas & Air.......Story" His stories are AWESOME! He goes wildly 'off script' and ends up inventing the best stories about me, Alfie, our dogs and the lovely afternoons we are going to spend together in our own garden, he fills each story with the sound of bird songs, the smell of flowers, bees buzzing around us, the feel of the sun on our skin. They are amazing, so detailed and so distracting which I really need, I'm spending so much time imagining these glorious summer days that've no chance to dwell on the surges.

Over the next few hours the surges really take over and make my body do what needs done, which is good and bad, at least I can't procrastinate! All I really have to do was not get in the way!

I did have one moment of panic when I realised it was too late for epidurals or caesarians and that I had to get this baby all the way out all on my own! But Fred kept me concentrating on the garden and my breathing and that moment passed. The worst time was the last 20 minutes, Hypnobirthing doesn't advocate pushing (though does advocate calmly and with all the facts making whatever decision is best at the time) and I DID end up pushing for those last minutes as Alfie had gotten himself into a slightly uncomfortable position and wasn't all too happy.

Thursday 01:55 Alfie is born! Thanks to hypnobirth I have defied an entire life time's worth of birth related TERROR to have an easy, quick and happy labour. At no point did I experience earth shattering agony or paralysing fear, I didn't ever feel out of control and I was entirely confident throughout. Birth is hard and fairly sore (but then so is the gym?!) but I shudder to think what it would have been like without Fred and our hypno-techniques, the whole thing was so chilled that Alfie didn't even cry when he was born!

Montessori Puzzle Ball

When I was 39 weeks pregnant I found myself at a loose end, too pregnant to either sit still for long periods or get up and run about, faced with this dilemma I turned to sewing! I needed a simple project because I have no natural abilities in this area and it couldn't be anything fiddly because my poor carpel tunnel cursed fingers weren't up to much fiddling. Lo! I present to you...The Montessori Puzzle Ball!

In reality this took an awful lot longer than I thought it would but it's a very straight forward project and looks seriously impressive, though I would think that wouldn't I! 

There's a good tutorial here with straight forward instructions. They also explain the benefits of the puzzle ball; namely that the 12 'handles' make it very easy for a young child to grab, it is light but still has enough weight to require some concentration when playing with it, it rolls but only far enough to encourage an infant to shuffle after it and the odd shapes encourage hand and wrist flexibility. And its pretty. 

It will be quite a while before the little one will be strong enough to play with it but I really enjoyed making it and once again am nursing dreams of The Great British Sewing Bee!

 

Freezer Food

There's something about pregnancy that's got me prepping like doomsday is coming! I think it's the faint echo of the naysayers insisting that life is about to get 386.9 times harder as well as my own uncertainty! If there's the option to remove one decision, task or chore to let my future self get on with figuring out how to keep the tiny human alive then I will take it!

I'm not a huge fan of stews, one pots or casseroles which is what most freezer meal recipes consist of so I opted for sauces and marinaded meats as well as rubs and spice mixes.  I wanted everything to be extra nutritious as my worst-case-scenario head was whispering that my day's would be so hectic I might forget to eat until dinner. Yes it sounded unlikely even to me! But extra vegetables never hurt. We are totally prepared for baby!

With that in mind, I filled our freezer with delicious meals and sauces ready to be pulled out at a moments several hours notice!

1. Extra veg for pasta and chicken. I used this recipe and it tastes delicious.

2. A Standard Romesco sauce - 2 roasted peppers, 150g toasted nuts, garlic and a few tomatoes. The beauty of this is that it requires nothing more than a whizz in the NutriBullet. It's amazing with chicken, white fish or roasted vegetables.

3. Mojito Chicken - yes you read that right, make a mojito without the sugar and add a chicken fillet, voila.

4. Seville Chicken - this is inspired by the lazy citrus filled days of a summer in Andalucia. Juice and zest a lemon and an orange, add 1 teaspoon ground coriander, a little oil and some mint.

5. Spaghetti Bolognese - I swear by this recipe they call this the best ever Spag Bol and I've tried quite a few recipes as well as modifying this one, nothing beats it! Do what it says!

6. Apricot Chicken Curry - add steamed chicken fillets and tinned apricots to a simple curry base (onion, garlic, curry powder, natural yoghurt and lemon juice).

7. Black Salmon Rub - I love this! It tastes like you made an effort! 1 teaspoon each paprika, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, paprika and chilli powder. I made a pot of this, ready to be rubbed on some lovely salmon fillets and shoved under the grill.

8. Thai Steak - Strips of steak in lime juice, soya sauce, chilli and grated ginger. Not really a recipe but super tasty when stir-fried with broccoli, french beans and green pepper.

9. Hairy Bikers Curry - I love the Hairy Biker's Curry Book, its full of amazing recipes and tips! I made a few of their spice mixes which will require nothing more than yogurt, meat and a pot.

10. Chicken Kievs - for this instead of bread crumbs I used ground almond mixed with grated parmesan, garlic powder and dried oregano.

11. Breaded fish fillets - breadcrumbs, lemon zest and Italian Herb seasoning make a yummy crust, I also added some chilli flakes. Yum!


Freezer Tips.
For anything in a marinade I butterfly my chicken fillets before I freeze them so that they are quicker to defrost and cook. I also try not to overlap the meat for the same reason.

For the breaded dishes its important to freeze each piece of meat separately or you'll end up with a massive lump of meat which turns into a soggy mess when you defrost it. Just spread them out in a single layer for a few hours before bundling them all together in bags or boxes.

It's also worth having ginger root, chillies and an ice tray of lemon or lime juice in your freezer. It makes it so easy to make a stir-fry.

Lesser Spotted Pregnancy Side Effects

Lots of women think pregnancy is a wonderful time and gush over the special bond they feel with their baby and how they love that their body is becoming a cocoon for a new life. Hashtag vomit emoji. I'm not one of those women and I did not experience those feelings. Most of the time, pregnancy is uncomfortable and a bit weird. I also seemed to attract the strangest side effects, not a moment of morning sickness but plenty of other annoying ailments.

Without further ado, in order of appearance, I present to you "The Lesser Spotted Pregnancy Side Effects".

1. Dysgeusia. I really hated this one, it basically causes the most disgusting metallic taste to lurk about your mouth and spoil the taste of everything you eat and drink. It was like having morning mouth all day and no amount of brushing can get rid of it. Thankfully it only lasted a few weeks.

2. Attack of the teeth. My well behaved teeth decided to go rogue in the first trimester, I had three infected wisdom teeth which my dentist refused to treat on account of the pregnancy, instead I was gargling whiskey and praying they wouldn't form an abyss. Thankfully I discovered Anbesol Teething Gel, it is amazing and the only thing that numbed the pain even momentarily. Eventually the infections cleared up but not before many nights spent in a sobbing, rocking puddle of pain.

3. Heart palpitations. No you're not dying it's just your heart getting used to having 50% more blood to circulate. It sure does feel like you need to be panicking though! Don't! Elevate your feet (medical advice) and eat chocolate (life advice).

4. Sciatica. Pretty much present from the second trimester on. Nothing helps. Kim K crying face.

5. Groin pain. Or symphysis pubis dysfunction if you're feeling fancy. This is caused by the muscles that join your legs together loosening and relaxing to create the perfect baby exit. It's quite sore at the best of times and makes rolling over or getting out of the car ACTUAL AGONY. But it feels paralysing is you try to run, as I found out when I chased Holmes for about half a mile at 9 and a half months. Do not run!!! Warm baths and chocolate really this one.

6. Exhaustion. Constant exhaustion. I don't think I've had a full night's sleep since the second trimester. First I need to pee, then sleeping on my side numbs my shoulder and I need to roll over which necessitates reorganising the pregnancy pillow (which I have name The Enemy), then I'm thirsty, then I need a Gaviscon, then I need to pee again. And so we have a vicious cycle. If I do sleep, I snore, loudly. Poor husband isn't sleeping either, but then again, most of this is his fault with his romance and devilish good looks.

7. Carpal Tunnel. My hands have had the strength of a kitten for the last few weeks. And they hurt like hell! Something to do with extra fluid. Lucky me!

8. Cravings. I craved sponge and dust! At times I had to remove myself from the vicinity of the hoover because the smell of dust was so overwhelmingly delicious. As for sponge I limit myself to a few sniffs during the day and a quick chew before bed. I was often to be found in the cleaning aisle or personal hygiene aisle of our local shop just squeezing all the different types of sponge. Even thinking about it now I have a lump in my throat!

Baby's First Toys

During their first few weeks and months babies have vast amounts of growing to do - both physically and neurologically. Luckily, their brain is the fastest, most highly adaptable advance processing unit on the planet. So while baby looks like they are just gooing and gaaing and turning adults to simpering mush, they are in fact busy absorbing lessons on language, physics, geometry and psychology. (More information here). So the aim is not therefore to fill up a baby's head but to open it up, not through 'adult led' flash cards, Mozart or well reviewed apps  but rather by adapting the environment and materials so as to maximise baby's learning opportunities by letting him get on with his own natural development as efficiently as possible. 

Based on this philosophy Fred and I have decided to (loosely) follow a Montessori approach. There's a comprehensive, easy to read article here which covers the implications on the toy box, I'll summarise by saying it means will try to provide the child with open-ended toys made from natural materials that are developmentally appropriate and encourage creativity and independence. We will be avoiding plastic items with buttons and flashes and noises as these generally have one function and are over-stimulating for a baby who needs to concentrate on other things...like physics. 

Here's a quick break down of what we will be using and why.

Black and White - babies can't distinguish colours until they are a few weeks old (they start with red at 8 weeks and progress to the rest of the primary colours from 3 months). They need lots of bold patterns, preferably in black and white As this is what they can see most clearly. Developing baby's vision early will allow them to focus their eyes on you which will increase their communication abilities, it will also encourage concentration and develop their hand-eye coordination which will become essential once they start engaging with their surroundings in the coming months. The items we picked are all specially designed to make the most of baby's visual processing skills. More on that here.

1. Look! Look! Book. This is a monochrome board book that features a mirror 

2. Smart Noggin Noggin Rings. The reviews for this product have to be seen to be believed, I've also seen it recommended on so many baby blogs that we had to give it a try. It is colour appropriate and offers a range of sensory, social and motor skill development opportunities.

3. Taf Toys Clip On Pram Book. This book comes with clips so it can be stretched around the edge of a carry cot or folded up to form a book. I like that this is reversible so will entertain baby for a long time to come.

4. Manhattan Toy Wimmer Ferguson 3-in-1 Triangle. This is very similar to the previous item and also reversible It fits into the cot or play area. It's more tactile than the previous one and features different textures, flaps and shapes to engage a range of babies senses and processing skills as he grows. 

Technically you don't need anything to encourage this area, wearing stripes, printing geometric images, drawing out cartoons are all perfectly acceptable (and cheaper).

Clutching and rattling 

Babies are natural born grabbers! Having toys that easily fit their grasp allows them to build their strength and motor skills as well as practice their eye tracking. Objects with a variety of textures and low level sounds will also give babies a chance to develop their sense of sound and touch, while games with you will build their understanding of object permanence - an early form of critical thinking. More on that here. 

1. Clutching Toy Beetle. This toy technically goes against the Montessori ideals by representing a fantasy character but it's cute! It features various fabrics, cracking wings and an internal bell, it's very pliable and is small enough for baby's hand to fully close around.

2. Bell Rattle. This is more in line with Montessori thinking, the natural materials, primary colours and the visible bell as well as the contrasting sizes and shapes are all directly related to a baby's developmental phase. 

3. Bird Rattle. I love this rattle! Again it offers nice contrasts with fabrics and woods and the spinning ball will encourage baby to make smaller more deliberate movements.

4. Butterfly Mirror.  How cute is this wee mirror? Like the first item it has crinkly fabric and an internal bell. Mirrors are an endless source of fascination, basically from birth onwards!

Where possible I aim to shop ethically. Most of the products are made from sustainable resources and use toxin free manufacturing methods. If you're interested in doing likewise good places to start are Haba Toys, Plan Toys, Wonder World, Brio and Selecta Girali. For suppliers that are not multi-national, tax avoiding giants then check out The Toadstool, My Kid, Morleys and Babi Pur.

If you're thinking this doesn't look like a lot you'd be right! One aim of montessori is to minimise so I could blame that but in reality we've just started to gather baby's resources!

Things I knew about parenthood before I got pregnant

Baby hasn't even been born yet and already my lofty parenting ideals are coming crashing down! Here's a few things I knew for sure before I got pregnant that are slowly sinking into the mire of reality.

Baby will be bilingual. A moment of mirth! For this one we even went so far as to buy baby Spanish books (and drag our poor friend half-way round Valencia in search of said books). As time draws near however the reality of introducing a second language to a baby while introducing the entire world to the baby is becoming laughable, particularly as Fred does not speak a second language and I speak two types of Spanish; bad Spanish and drunk Spanish. I did dream of collecting wonderful resources, learning traditional nursery rhymes by rote and implementing daily routines en Espanol, I even have a stunning Pinterest Board to prove it but sadly I fear these notions will remain pixilated. Especially because Fred descends into giggles every time I sing Estrellita (Twinkle Twinkle) and get to the line that goes "en el cielo titilar". Real mature.

We will use cloth nappies. LOL! Joke! The changing unit is literally full of disposable nappies already! I feel really terrible about this (obviously) but having watched a few video tutorials and done a bit of research this method looks so hard! It seems to require the same amount of organisation it takes to invade a mid-sized country and FAR more shit shovelling. I'm trying to make myself feel better about this by insisting "I'll try it next time when I know what I'm doing", but ask me again when I'm managing a toddler and a new born! Also my shit shovelling partner is adamant that he will only engage with the disposable kind. Sigh.

We won't have that problem because [fill in vain, self-important reason here]. Oh wow, the view is wonderful from my high-horse. Judging other parents is my absolute favourite past time at the moment because I know I only have a few weeks left before I'm that parent buying their child sweets just to shut up them up, that parent who has just been slapped in the face by their child, that parent whose clothes aren't ironed and whose shoes don't match. I will most certainly have that problem.

We will stick to a routine. Everyone goes on and on about how much a baby needs a routine, I even drew up charts during my first trimester. Bless! Gradually the fact that I struggle to stick to a three step cleanse-tone-moisturise routine has dawned on me. So yeah, I'll focus on keeping the baby alive according to routine or not!

My child will not wear 'themed' outfits. I have sworn I won't be putting my baby in cartoon clothes, no Frozen shirts, no Sponge Bob pants, and nothing gender defining. Ahem, have you ever tried to buy baby clothes?! Good grief, these are the most binary, mainstream fashion statements available. I'll make an effort but in reality baby will be wearing whatever has the least trace of body fluid on it.

I won't wear 'tents' just because I'm pregnant. Me in Mothercare: "Where is the jersey cotton? SHOW ME THE JERSEY COTTON. I'm looking for something that would fit a...camel? A small boat? A band of thieves?" Yep the tents went on a few days ago, as did the FitFlops. I weep.

Cravings are for people with bad diets, I'll eat really well. "Pardon? I can't hear your notions through all the sponge your chewing, were you saying you had Nutella and cheese for breakfast?"

Raspberry Tea

EDIT: Labour has passed and the tea was tested to it's limits! I can't say if it helped or not as I have no tea-free labour to compare it to, however I CAN say that I had a short, straight forward, natural labour. Was that down to the tea? Probably not but it definitely wouldn't have hurt!  

When you're pregnant you attract all sort of things like acne, a burning chest dragon, fluid (how can my feet/hands/bladder hold this much) but most unfortunate of - all unsolicited advice. Some of it is hilarious; "vaccines cause Autism." Some of it is maddening "you really HAVE to breast feed for at least a year." Only a tiny amount of it is actually useful with an even smaller amount being well intentioned. When my neighbour suggested I start drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea in the last few weeks of pregnancy I'd reached advice fatigue and ignored her! I'd never heard of the benefits of Raspberry Leaf Tea (not to be confused with Raspberry Tea) but she insisted that it made delivering her middle child much easier than of either her first or last child. Finally having eventually researched it I'm totally won over by it's many claimed advantages and raging I didn't start it sooner. In fact, it sounds so good that I'm sure some it is exaggeration...but I am not adverse to a bit of a placebo!

Most evidence is anecdotal and there's virtually no official data, but I found a few bits of evidence.

• According to studies drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea can lead to shorter active labour because it strengthens and tones the muscles of your uterus making you a better pusher! 
• Another study found that among drinkers there was fewer cases of assisted delivery. 
• Yet another study found that drinking it during labour (who has time for that?!) made your uterus contract quicker, limited bleeding and quickened the letting down of breast milk (I'm not sure what letting down means, sorry). 
• Perhaps most convincingly two other mothers I've spoken to have all confirmed its stretchy womb wonders. 

Before you go thinking that Raspberry Leaf Tea is a miracle drug that will will turn your uterus into a steam train WAIT...

• Another 'study' found it to have absolutely no effect. 

Hurray for evidence based contradictory medicine! I'm going to be honest and say that the words "shorter labour" and "less bleeding" are enough to over ride that pessimistic, party pooping last study! Even if it does nothing there's no harm in a cup of tea, especially when it has so many essential maternity nutrients in it for Mom and Baby (calcium, magnesium and iron).

Tip: this tea is reported to be disgusting, I wouldn't know though because I bought Heath and Heather Raspberry Leaf Tea which is mixed with hibiscus and tastes divine!

Further Tip: there's a whole load of advice about when NOT to drink this tea (before 32 weeks, if you're spotting, if you're having a caesarian etc) so probably best to do your own reading and make up your mind!

Hello Summer!

Irish people LOVE a moan, especially about the weather but the start of Summer this year may only be described as a glorious, golden, glowing explosion. This means that we in the Happy House have been getting stuck into the garden and readying it for sale! Holmes and Claude are behaving so well in the Humans' Garden!

I say getting stuck in, there has been lots of cuddles, cheap novels and chilled rose petal tea but oh well! At 8 months pregnant that is absolutely my prerogative!

Claude (B) and Holmes (T) are rarely let into this part of the garden, mostly because it usually ends up like a scene from Crouching Doodle Hidden Shit which does not go down well at a garden party and is a nightmare to remove from picnic blankets but we've been making exceptions for them recently.

"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow" and normally planting out our veg patch is one of my happiest Summer moments for precisely this reason however this year it's been a rather sobering experience as we don't have very many tomorrows in our lovely first home! We know that we probably won't be here to harvest anything we plant and it hit me harder than I thought it would. In previous years we've had potatoes, broccoli, courgettes, sweet corn, every root you can bury and most readily available leaves but this year we've decided to cut back. We planted just enough rows of salad, carrots and peas to 'bluff' a veg patch and impress upon any potential buyers that the house comes with a low maintenance mini allotment and suddenly my gorgeous garden filled with plants I've practically named and birds I actually have named (Buenos dias Ramirez el Chaffinch y Rodrigo el Robin) has been reduced to a commodity. Maybe its just the hormones but I feel like I'm pimping it out and now whenever I look at those underwhelming rows of salad I can't help but feel a little sad!

But it's hard to be sad for too long with these adorable brutes around!

Nursery Tour

Is this nesting? In my 28 years I have never displayed even the smallest inclination toward either the domestic or the highly organised yet at 8 months pregnant these have both become my highest priority! Maybe it is nesting though I am more inclined to think it has a logical root. I am acutely aware that I will soon be spending a lot of time at home without a clue of what I'm doing, with the grateful receipt of this burden I decided to eliminate another; the need to look for/step over/clean around the majority of the items I use on a daily basis! Removing liquid faeces from a tiny wiggling bum has got to be easier when you can put your hand straight on the necessary weapons of ablution? Baby blues must be at least eased by a clear, calm environment? Life really does actually look like it does on Pinterest? No? None of these assumptions are true? I don't know how parenthood works? Shit. Anyway, on with the 'tour' (*shudder I'm such a Mommy Blogger cliche sorry!*)

First up, the changing unit! This was the first area that Fred and I set up, we wanted everything within easy reach but we didn't want anything to be cluttered. We have; nappies, spare cotton balls, nappy bags, wipes, talcum powder, more cotton wool in a grab jar, his grooming products in a basket and spare muslins for slipping under his booty to avoid skid marks on the mat. This drawer works from left to right in order of the urgency I expect to feel in trying to procure the item. This means that my more dexterous right hand can keep Prawn from shimmying into his own poo while my left can easily grab the most urgently required item from the left side of the drawer. Simples!

In the second drawer we put his baby grows and sleep suits. Are these under clothes? I imagine you put t-shirts and adorable itty bitty trousers on over them but the truth is I'm not sure you do! Anyway we organised these right to left with his First Size on the far right and his 0-3 Month moving left before finishing with two grab jars, one bibs, the other socks etc. The reasoning behind this (yes - completely over thinking) was that holding Prawn was now the less pressing issue since poo as a risk factor had been eliminated thus it could be managed by left hand leaving right hand to grab what's needed. It's just simple ergonomics (and the first signs of mental derailment).

In the last drawer is spare wipes and nappies etc. I bought 187 Size 1 nappies "just in case". Just in case he's an elephant? You may suspect that I have a slight nervous preoccupation with the baby's bowel movements, you would be correct. I've never actually changed a nappy but I have watched enough YouTube videos to know how horrific the experience can be. In my defence they say babies use 10-12 a day in the first while. 187 nappies / 12 nappies a day = 15.5 days worth of nappies. Not excessive. What is excessive is how many times I've said nappies in this post. 

I know you're just dying to know what's in his grooming basket! Here it is! For bath time I thought it would be handy to have everything in a lift out container to take to the bathroom with us but also to leave in his changing unit for top and tailing/emergency spills. In here we have a few nappies and bags, assorted sponges, rash cream, body wash, baby oil, hand sanitiser (because I had some spare and needed to put it somewhere) cotton balls, hair brushes, nail clippers and wash clothes. 

On to his wardrobe which (shockingly) has his clothes, towels and a few items he's not ready to use yet. His clothes are grouped according to size, I'm looking for wardrobe dividers but so far no joy! Beside his wardrobe is his first bed! We bought a Chicco Next2Me so naturally we will move this into his own room when he arrives. Eventually his crib will be here but hopefully we will have moved house long before we have to build the crib! In his Chicco is his swaddling blanket and his Bump to Birthday record which I HIGHLY recommend as a keepsake.

Lastly his pram and nappy bag. We got a Bugaboo Chameleon 3 because so many people recommended them. Bugaboo never reduce the price of their products but we just happened to be passing a Mamas and Papas at opening time on the very day that this one was marked as Shop Soiled and reduced by £300! Win! There was some stiff competition from other Mommies and a slight amount of stalking around the store from a particularly determined pair but we made it to the till unscathed! His nappy bag is just from Mothercare - we went for the cheapest one we could find! Why are they so expensive? £70+ for a hideous satchel??? Get a grip! This one is only marginally less hideous but significantly less expensive at £35. 

And that's all! I expect this level of military organisation will last approximately 18 seconds once he's born!